katallison: (Default)
In the Weather News of Limited Interest category, it is hot here. Very, very hot. And shall continue to be, for the next few days at least. I'm running my piece-o'-crap portable air conditioner, which has, at the cost of massive electrical consumption, managed to bring the indoor air temperature down to maybe six degree below the outdoor air temperature. But really, I'll take every degree I can get.

I had as a houseguest last night the wholly delightful [livejournal.com profile] arallara, who's at about the halfway point on her Great Cross-Country Trip. It was most excellent to just have some relaxed, unpressured time with her to sit around, gab, drink wine, cook stuff, and gab some more; Aral's one of those people who's utterly comfortable to be with, and with whom I never have to stress about oh, god, do I have enough conversational gambits scripted out to keep things going?. She headed out early this afternoon, and I am left envying her her wonderful road trip, and hoping that the fates conspire so that we end up living closer to each other someday.

And Mr. P. is coming over tonight, so in recognition of the incredible state of Suffocating Heat, I've fixed:

Seafood Gazpacho )
katallison: (Default)
So I posted something earlier today about getting back into writing, and in a comment, [livejournal.com profile] cesperanza pointed out that I'm really a "Method" writer, one who (like a Method actor) spends a lot of time upfront thinking through characters' emotions and motivations, and then has to struggle to figure out what the characters should do to express those; whereas she writes in what she calls the "British" method, analogous to the great British actors who stand *here* and say the line and then walk over *there* and do that piece of business, and work back from there to discern and build in the emotional underpinnings.

And now I'm fascinated by this, because I just assumed that everyone goes about writing in the same way I do, more or less, and I'm having fun trying to get my head around what it would be like to simply have some scenes in mind, and write them out, without having already done a lot of sort of preparatory emotional outlining to guide the process. And because I have a ton of other stuff I should be doing, I thought that instead I'd -- that's right, do a poll!

[Poll #511623]
katallison: (patti2)
Things that are good:

a) [livejournal.com profile] a_mews sent me a cool new photo of Patti Smith, from the Meltdown 2005, and I'm rotating it in in place of my old default icon.

b) The suffocating humidity has finally cleared out, and today is warm and sunny and dry, very lovely, so all those people who like to go outside and do stuff on beautiful June Sundays are at last getting their chance, after a monsoon-like few weeks.

c) Long-term stressor at work has finally been resolved, not in a good way, but to be honest any resolution feels like something of a relief after months of fraught suspense.

d) And possibly related to (c) above, I'm writing again, after months of drought. I've been doing some serious revisions on, and cautious additions to, something that's been stalled on my hard drive for quite a while. Had an unpleasant shock, when I first opened and read through it, of Oh my god, could I GET any more blatant with the overwritten emotional exposition?? until I remembered that I'd been trying out the technique of deliberately overwriting the emotional exposition in first draft, so that when I came back later I could remember what was supposed to be going on emotionally, and could then hack out all the signposting. (This has actually proven helpful so far; there are places where I wouldn't have otherwise been able to recall just why these characters were doing/saying this stuff. Now I just have to figure out some way to make it all clear and coherent *without* the signposts. Ahem.)

Anyway, it feels good to be writing again, and will feel even better when I'm warmed up and nice clear fresh stuff starts coming out of the taps, instead of brown rusty gunk.
katallison: (Default)
Stuff that is Good:

(a) Perfectly beautiful day out, will get up to 71, and I'm going out to my brother and sister-in-law's place for some quality hanging-out time.

(b) [livejournal.com profile] nifra_idril's recap of The Fast and the Furious made me hoot with laughter, in part because -- OK, my brother? the one referenced above? the uber-bookish academic/cerebral geek, who (1) though he knows about slash, claims not to get it at all, and (2) never had a driver's license until he was in his 30s? This guy is a *total* FatF *fanboy*. He has watched it I don't know how many times. He has tried to explain the underlying themes to me in archetypal terms. And I am so, so tempted to send Nifra's recap to him, except--no, better not. But *heeeeeee*.

(c) Mr. P., when he came over last night, brought me a baggie of -- wait for it -- DARK M&Ms!! I shit you not! They're a mix of navy, dark red, purple, black and grey, and OMG HOW COOL IS IT THAT THERE ARE GREY M&Ms IN THE WORLD! It makes me so very happy that there is DARK CANDY in the world, dark angsty candy, candy the color of a bruise! Ahem.

(d) I went over to my old friend J's house this morning, to help her 11th grade son work on his college application statements, and I've been sort of out of touch with J for a while and hadn't seen her son in, like, five or six years, so imagine my surprise to discover that he's grown into a tall lanky guy who looks startlingly like a younger and thinner Matthew McConaughey, topped with perfect RayK hair. Reprise the "I shit you not" -- PERFECT RayK hair, like it had been lifted right off CKR's head and set down on this really *incredibly* good-looking kid. Who is also a brilliant math/science prodigy, pondering recruiting letters from MIT and U of Chicago and Stanford, and also very funny and sweet. And yes, it's probably a good thing there are standards and codes about not molesting the 34-years-younger-than-one sons of one's old buddies. But a woman can *look*, at least. Golly.

Music yay!

Apr. 14th, 2005 07:45 pm
katallison: (Default)
This is a posting of pure love for the fantabulous [livejournal.com profile] flambeau who sent me a big envelope all the way across the Atlantic with five count 'em five mix CDs, and a lovely letter containing songlists and explanation of choices. Handwritten! (My god, you know what, I can't even remember the last time I received a handwritten letter.) I have just begun dipping into the songs, and love everything I've heard so far, and am suffused with the sense of What wondrous life is this I lead, ripe apples drop about my head. And thank you so much Ms. flambeau! You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi! You're the top! You're Napoleon brandy! You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain, you're the National Gallery, you're Garbo's salary, you're cellophane!)

I have discovered as well that working out *with* music is a very different and considerably less tedious experience than without, and have already begun contemplating various gym playlists I'll need to assemble; slow dense trancy stuff for weightlifting, boppy rhythmic peppy stuff for the elliptical. I'm still trying to figure out what music I actually like, which sounds kind of odd and ridiculous, but -- well, listening to music is so *different* from, say, reading. Within a few sentences I can quickly and ruthlessly shove a piece of writing into a mental slot: This is excellent; this is well-executed but not to my taste; this is kind of crappy but entertaining; this *reeks*. With music, on the other hand, I'm much more in a beginner's-mind situation, which is exhilirating in a way, but also bewildering. What *do* I like? Still figuring it out ...
katallison: (Default)
The problem with trying to write a post of any length or complexity in the tired wambly just-before-bed interval is that one may sit down at the computer with a nice orderly mental list of things one wants to say, but in the stormy seas of composition, one's mental list develops some leaks, and starts pitching and yawing and taking on water, and important items slide off the deck and into the sea, lost to view, and then one wakes up with a jolt at 2 in the morning and says to oneself, "Self, you frelling moron, in describing things people kindly gave you this weekend you completely forgot to mention what you meant to start out with when you sat down, namely the lovely little box of miniature liqueur-filled chocolate bottles given to you by Ms. [livejournal.com profile] popfantastic, getting to spend time with whom was absolutely one of the highlights of the weekend, and whose gift you have already been sampling with great pleasure while thinking about what an amazingly nice person she was to bring it for you, and did we mention you are a frelling moron," and then one hauls ass out of bed to write up a 2 a.m. entry of guilt and remorse and run-on sentences.

(And the bottles are indeed wee and lovely and chocolately and filled with all different kinds of liquors and liqueurs, and there is a label on the box they came in that says "Legal Only Where Liquor Filled Confectionary Permitted Under State Law," which I love both for its tautology and also because, having no *idea* if Liquor Filled Confectionary is Permitted under the laws of my state, I feel all racy and reckless and scofflaw-like consuming them. And thank you again, [livejournal.com profile] popfantastic, you are a gem and a delight.)
katallison: (Default)
Gnarrr. Have hit an inconvenient plot-snarl in my dS Sekrit Santa story; I'm either going to have to think my way through it, or else do a little distracting sleight-of-hand around it and hope nobody notices.

I tell you what, realism-whore though I am, I feel very lucky at times to be writing in dS, where there's no canonic precedent for, say, slavish adherence to actual police procedure, or pettifogging nitpickery about the laws of space, time, and physics, or whatever. One can simply give the "magical realism!" wand an airy wave. And it's nice to remember that the show itself often tended to use its A-plots with a certain negligence, treating them as a pretext for the *important* stuff--character interaction, relationship development, dialogue, etc.

As a viewer, I've never minded this at all--it takes grand-mal plotline incoherence along the lines of later-season XF to really put me off. And as a writer whose default story line is So, these two guys sit around and talk about stuff, and who is deeply impaired in the development of plottiness, I cherish it.

At the risk of jinxing myself, I plan to get prodigious amounts of writing done this long weekend. There are only two Thanksgivingy social events on the calendar--first, dinner tonight with Mr. P, featuring:
--a pork loin which will have many incisions made all over its surface, into which will be inserted much slivered garlic and rosemary, the whole thing then roasted to a fine crackling turn;
--a gratin of creamed leeks and fingerling potatoes, with gruyere;
--brussels sprouts, halved, steamed briefly, and then sauteed with finely chopped toasted walnuts and a dash of sesame oil;
--a compote of dried cranberries and chopped dried apricots, simmered with brandy and some orange zest;
--a bottle of excellent red wine.

Note the complete absence of turkey! Because that's just the kind of wild and crazy rebel I am! Hah!

And also because I shall get turkey on Saturday, when [livejournal.com profile] debchan, [livejournal.com profile] lapillus, [livejournal.com profile] jackiekjono, and I will gather for consumption of Deb's leftovers and viewage of various things, which should be great fun.

Other than those, and the obligatory visit to aged parental units, my agenda for the weekend is simple: Write. Lots.

My best wishes to all of you celebrating Thanksgiving for a peaceful and relaxing holiday, devoid of familial strife, travel mishaps, or subsequent digestive upset.

ETA: And if you haven't already, go read Laura's, Lum's, and Cereta's entries, because they express much more eloquently than I could the gratitude I feel toward fandom and toward all of you.
katallison: (Default)
I think I've got the hook for my dS Sekrit Santa story figured out. This pleases me. I also have a thing sketched out for the new flashfiction, which is likewise pleasing. (The having-it-sketched-out part, that is; I make no promises about the pleasingness of the story.)

And yesterday was great fun; [livejournal.com profile] lapillus, [livejournal.com profile] jackiekjono and I got to have dinner with [livejournal.com profile] heres_luck, who was in town for a job interview. Those of you who've met her don't need telling this, but my god, h_l is one scary-smart, funny, delightful person, and I would be thrilled to death if it worked out for her to move here.

I am clinging to these Happy Thoughts and brandishing them around in my brain like they were Galadriel's fucking light-thingie, as a weapon against the pervasive bleakness that has set up camp in my psyche the past couple of weeks. This is probably in part election-related, but also feels biochemical or something. Damn. I spent some time today flipping through the list of mental health providers that my insurance covers; unfortunately, all the ones that I would consider going to (e.g., in which I have some degree of trust) are also clinics that have people on staff whom I know professionally, and that just feels ooogie to me.

It strikes me that it's been ten years now since I've been in therapy, which is the longest non-therapized interlude of my adult life, and I realize that the biggest question I have about possible re-entry into that cloistered confessional space of self-disclosure is -- to what extent do I come out about my involvement in fandom, fanfiction writing, slash? That's a large and important part of my inner life--it's where I have most of my friendships, and spend most of my free time--but I find I'm very reluctant to bring it up with anyone who's not already at least passingly conversant with this whole world. Which would, probably, include most therapists.

So my question of the day, for those of you on the friendslist who have simultaneously been involved in fandom and therapy -- how have you handled this? Full disclosure? The partial kind of "Oh, I write stuff" approach one might use with non-fan friends? Concealment? How has it affected the work you've done with your therapist?

(ETA: Feel free to log out and reply anonymously, if that feels more comfortable.)


katallison: (Default)

November 2009



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