But, you know, having a meltdown can be a legitimate means of coping. I mean, your stress hit toxic overload, and you screamed and wept and ranted or whatever, and now -- you're feeling better. With work-buddy P.'s help you've shed that load of worthless, useless guilt and gotten a better perspective on what's going on, and you're breathing. These are good things.

You've dealt, and are still dealing, with an insane amount of shit, and brief bursts of insanity are a reasonable response, IMO. You have a huge load to carry right now, and it's not surprising that you stumble sometimes. But you have strength, and wit, and gritty stubbornness, and pretzels and cheap champagne, and someday all this will be the past, not the present. And your friends are with you now, and will still be with you then. Hugs to you.