You know, I completely understand and empathize. We had a string of deaths all in a row, as I'm sure you know, and I've been *so* aware of my own mortality--and everybody else's now. A day doesn't go by that I don't consider my own demise and what I'm going to leave behind, how much I want to do, how much is undone, how little time (no matter that it could actually be decades) I have left. It's unnerving and macabre, and it seems to be totally out of my control.
I tell myself the things you say. I remind myself that I'm here NOW and I'm healthy, and no mishaps shall befall me, and then I'm okay. Until the next time I'm blindsided by thoughts of death. It's so very weird.
And now that I've freaked you out, have a great trip. I wish I were going, and I'm going to miss y'all, and God! It's six months till Vividcon!! [wails]
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-24 03:09 am (UTC)I tell myself the things you say. I remind myself that I'm here NOW and I'm healthy, and no mishaps shall befall me, and then I'm okay. Until the next time I'm blindsided by thoughts of death. It's so very weird.
And now that I've freaked you out, have a great trip. I wish I were going, and I'm going to miss y'all, and God! It's six months till Vividcon!! [wails]