Tonight's Random Thoughts

[katallison]

My prediction: Assuming that the world holds together and we do not all die of Ebola/avian flu/radiation poisoning, or in some other manner plummet into a new Dark Age, I believe that at some point the neuroscientists and brain-chemistry wonks will formulate an antidepressant so quick and targeted that as soon as the black curtain begins descending, one can pop it like aspirin and head the monster off at the pass.

I mean -- right, some people have (as I have had in the past) persistent chronic depression resulting from some steady-state befuckedness of the brain chemistry, which will benefit from adherence to a consistent regimen of corrective medicine. But then there are situations like mine this past weekend, when for absolutely no reason whatsoever I was suddenly felled out of the blue by an incapacitating onset of the good old familiar paralysis-of-will, self-loathing, exhaustion, anhedonia, insane irritability, and readiness for swift death.

I made efforts to right the ship; I worked out, I forced myself to eat moderately nutritious food, I got out of the house and walked around, I did the rational self-talk. To no avail.

And then today, there was an almost palpable, audible swooosh as the god-damned chemistry started flowing through the proper channels again, and, just as suddenly as the depression had bushwhacked me, I was back among the good-humored and upbeat and energetic folk of this world.

I've compared these episodes before to riding in a plane that suddenly hits an air pocket and starts falling out of the sky; but the fact is it feels like the 24-hour flu, or PMS, it feels biological, hormonal, medical, I can feel it in my muscles and taste it in my mouth and sense the chemicals misfiring in my brain.

And I can't help but think that at some point they'll get a better handle on what's going on with this stuff, find a circuit-breaker pill that will short-circuit the blackout. I just wish they had it now, because kee-rist, what a *waste of time* these interludes are.



Also, I cannot really in good conscience any longer call myself a media fan ...

Around 8:50 this evening I had the "oh HELL" moment when I realized that once again I'd spaced on tuning in House, which, since it's the only live TV show I'm watching at all these days, you'd think I could *remember.*

And then I went back and looked through the madly comprehensive list tzikeh assembled for the Vividcon premiere survey, of shows people might conceivably be vidding, and I realized that I could construct the following list:

Live or Recently Defunct Shows Various of My Friends Are Digging but of Which I Have Never Seen a Single Episode, Nor Even Seen Enough Snippets to Know Who The Hell These People Are and What's Going On:

Stargate Atlantis
Veronica Mars
24
Andromeda
Battlestar Galactica
Desperate Housewives
The L Word
Numb3rs
Lost
Gilmore Girls
The Wire
CSI of any flavor
Reality shows of any sort whatsoever

Which could in turn be supplemented by:

Recent-ish Shows I Only Have the Vaguest Idea Of Because I Saw a Vid and Some Kind Soul Filled Me In On Who the Hell These People Are and What's Going On, in Very General Terms, But Of Which I Have Never Seen a Single Actual Episode:

Dead Like Me
Dead Zone
Deadwood
Jeremiah
Joan of Arcadia
Keen Eddie
OC
Odyssey 5
QAF, UK and US
Six Feet Under
Star Trek, anything other than TOS
Witchblade
Wonderfalls

Really, you know, I hardly watch *TV*, is the sad truth of it. And while I am wildly happy that writers and vidders are leaping around out of the old established fandoms and into all these strange new worlds, it means I do a lot more skimming on LJ than I used to. (And I'll have to have some kindly young person sitting near my rocking chair at Vividcon, murmuring background fill-in info into my hearing aid as I mumble querulously "Eh? Eh? Now what's all this, dearie?")