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Mar. 30th, 2006 06:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katallisonMy simmering, glowing happiness this evening is due to several things:
--the weather is grey, mild, warm (in the 50s), soft and rainy, with high shifting clouds, very Seattle-like weather;
--despite complete lack of clarity about what my job situation will be like come June, I went ahead and impulsively registered for CON.TXT and bought a plane ticket and thus will get to see a whole bunch of people I love in a few months;
--the complete lack of clarity about my job situation has gone on so long that I think I've moved into a peaceful, spacious, zen-like mental space about the whole thing, in which I no longer care very much about whether I get the Big Promotion, or don't, or have a job in four months, or don't, or whatever;
--I went downtown after work, the first time (I am embarrassed to admit) that I'd been downtown in many months, and wandered around with my headphones on, listening to the Streets and Laura Veirs and Barenaked Ladies and the Hold Steady, and marvelling at the surging crowds and all the buildings that they've apparently put up since the last time I was downtown, and then I took the light rail home, which was Jammed. With. People and was somehow great fun;
--and I'm just -- happy. I somehow seem to have gotten to a mental state where depression just doesn't stick; even when I start heading down the sickeningly familiar mental paths of Oh god, I suck, life sucks, plus I suck SO MUCH I find that I just can't take it seriously for more than a few minutes; I jump the rails and zigzag into Bronx cheers and rude good humor. I get cranky as hell from time to time, but not so much any longer with the self-loathing, and the moroseness, and the gloom.
--I get to have dinner tomorrow night with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
heres_luck and lapillus and jackiekjono, which will be most excellent.
It is not outside the realm of possibility that tomorrow will bring some clarity about the job situation, which would, of course, be welcome. But right now, I sit here in my lovely and beloved apartment, drinking white wine, listening to the Bach violin partitas, with Tuesday's House episode on my DVR yet to be viewed, excellent vegetable curry to be reheated and eaten, listening to the rain falling outside (rain! thunderstorms! Winter is OVER!!!), and I know that I truly am the luckiest woman in the world.
--the weather is grey, mild, warm (in the 50s), soft and rainy, with high shifting clouds, very Seattle-like weather;
--despite complete lack of clarity about what my job situation will be like come June, I went ahead and impulsively registered for CON.TXT and bought a plane ticket and thus will get to see a whole bunch of people I love in a few months;
--the complete lack of clarity about my job situation has gone on so long that I think I've moved into a peaceful, spacious, zen-like mental space about the whole thing, in which I no longer care very much about whether I get the Big Promotion, or don't, or have a job in four months, or don't, or whatever;
--I went downtown after work, the first time (I am embarrassed to admit) that I'd been downtown in many months, and wandered around with my headphones on, listening to the Streets and Laura Veirs and Barenaked Ladies and the Hold Steady, and marvelling at the surging crowds and all the buildings that they've apparently put up since the last time I was downtown, and then I took the light rail home, which was Jammed. With. People and was somehow great fun;
--and I'm just -- happy. I somehow seem to have gotten to a mental state where depression just doesn't stick; even when I start heading down the sickeningly familiar mental paths of Oh god, I suck, life sucks, plus I suck SO MUCH I find that I just can't take it seriously for more than a few minutes; I jump the rails and zigzag into Bronx cheers and rude good humor. I get cranky as hell from time to time, but not so much any longer with the self-loathing, and the moroseness, and the gloom.
--I get to have dinner tomorrow night with
heres_luck and lapillus and jackiekjono, which will be most excellent.It is not outside the realm of possibility that tomorrow will bring some clarity about the job situation, which would, of course, be welcome. But right now, I sit here in my lovely and beloved apartment, drinking white wine, listening to the Bach violin partitas, with Tuesday's House episode on my DVR yet to be viewed, excellent vegetable curry to be reheated and eaten, listening to the rain falling outside (rain! thunderstorms! Winter is OVER!!!), and I know that I truly am the luckiest woman in the world.