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Apr. 26th, 2005 07:57 pmDear Target Corp.:
Look, I am not deranged. I know better than to go to one of your fine retail outlets expecting, oh, well-designed goods, or clothing that is anything other than shoddy and ugly. I shop your stores for basic functional necessities like toothpaste and lightbulbs and socks. Socks. You know, those basic functional things you put on your feet before donning your shoes.
So can you enlighten me as to why your fine retail outlets do not, among their vast array of tawdry offerings, see fit to include so much as a single pair of plain grey women's socks??? You have black socks, right. You have an astonishing selection of repulsive foo-foo socks in pink, baby blue, and stripes, patterned with puppies and bunnies, bedecked with lace and spangles. You have enough white athletic socks to equip the Army of the Republic. But--and I repeat--you do not carry a single fucking pair of plain grey socks.
Target Corp., may you rot in hell, because you are going to force me to sacrifice two hours of precious internet-gay-smut-reading time to drive to the mall, park, hike, search, stand in line, hike, and drive, simply so that I may procure a few pairs of plain grey socks, those being exactly the kind of thing that a purveyor of life's basic functional necessities, such as yourself, should by god carry.
Dreaming of jamming a breathtakingly ugly Michael Graves toaster up your corporate bunghole, I remain,
Yours truly,
Kat
(And don't even get me started on the apparently doomed effort to find, anywhere on this PLANET, a simple, ordinary pair of grey cotton twill pants. With a waist that comes to the waist, and a comfortable degree of looseness through the butt and thighs. Of the sort that any person of the male persuasion can find anywhere within ten minutes. The only times I wish I were a guy is when I go clothes shopping, because my GOD, the ugliness of women's apparel ...)
Look, I am not deranged. I know better than to go to one of your fine retail outlets expecting, oh, well-designed goods, or clothing that is anything other than shoddy and ugly. I shop your stores for basic functional necessities like toothpaste and lightbulbs and socks. Socks. You know, those basic functional things you put on your feet before donning your shoes.
So can you enlighten me as to why your fine retail outlets do not, among their vast array of tawdry offerings, see fit to include so much as a single pair of plain grey women's socks??? You have black socks, right. You have an astonishing selection of repulsive foo-foo socks in pink, baby blue, and stripes, patterned with puppies and bunnies, bedecked with lace and spangles. You have enough white athletic socks to equip the Army of the Republic. But--and I repeat--you do not carry a single fucking pair of plain grey socks.
Target Corp., may you rot in hell, because you are going to force me to sacrifice two hours of precious internet-gay-smut-reading time to drive to the mall, park, hike, search, stand in line, hike, and drive, simply so that I may procure a few pairs of plain grey socks, those being exactly the kind of thing that a purveyor of life's basic functional necessities, such as yourself, should by god carry.
Dreaming of jamming a breathtakingly ugly Michael Graves toaster up your corporate bunghole, I remain,
Yours truly,
Kat
(And don't even get me started on the apparently doomed effort to find, anywhere on this PLANET, a simple, ordinary pair of grey cotton twill pants. With a waist that comes to the waist, and a comfortable degree of looseness through the butt and thighs. Of the sort that any person of the male persuasion can find anywhere within ten minutes. The only times I wish I were a guy is when I go clothes shopping, because my GOD, the ugliness of women's apparel ...)
