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Oct. 29th, 2007 07:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katallisonMy life continues to drift in its untethered, free-floating manner. Still no job, still no apartment, still staying with my friends, still enjoying Seattle (with a special bonus embrace for the perfectly lovely ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kormantic, who hosted a brunch for me last weekend and has been providing all manner of support and diversion) (along with attempting to pimp me into SGA, heh). This weekend, I am rather more untethered than usual, because the friends with whom I'm staying rented a beach house on the Oregon coast for a long weekend and invited me to come with them, and it's not like I really *need* a vacation, having been unemployed for two months now, but I'm not dumb enough to turn something like this down, so ...
The view from the deck of the house where we're staying:
Taken while walking along the beach near twilight.
I'll get more up at some point. It is just stupefyingly beautiful here, and then you add in the fireplace, and the fact that my friends are both fabulous cooks, and ... yeah, I'm pretty spoiled at the moment. \o/
What is not so much of the \o/ at the moment is -- oh, hell, I'll put it on cut, because it's just a bunch of phenomenally tedious blather about my writing and the crapitude thereof OH WOES.
So back in September I signed up for the dS Match challenge thingie with nothing more than an idea about a story I might want to write, and a vague sense that being in a structured community challenge might possibly get me to actually finish and post something. Which is a feat I have not been able to accomplish in three years now, and that fact has been kind of humiliating and painful for me.
What I didn't really anticipate was the humiliating and painful element of finishing and posting something that is, by my judgment, really, really -- not good. Pretty terrible, even. I don't really know how it's going to strike anyone else, since of course I was running RIGHT up against the deadline and so didn't even have time to get a quick beta (ah hah hah hah hah HA), but ... really. It's just -- every time I think even glancingly about any element of that story, I just kind of hate myself.
And I know that the sensible way to look at this is that screw quality, at least I did something, and now that the machinery is back in motion, never mind with how many creaks and backfires and broken parts flapping around, all I really need to do is just keep it moving. Yes?
Except for the part where writing this was just unpleasant, start to finish. For reasons internal to my own writing process and having nothing to do with the subject matter, the challenge, or anything else external, I should add. Writing narrative prose just isn't working for me right now, in ways I find hard to articulate. (*sigh*)
OK, going off now to take a walk along the beach and maybe get the hell over myself.
kormantic, who hosted a brunch for me last weekend and has been providing all manner of support and diversion) (along with attempting to pimp me into SGA, heh). This weekend, I am rather more untethered than usual, because the friends with whom I'm staying rented a beach house on the Oregon coast for a long weekend and invited me to come with them, and it's not like I really *need* a vacation, having been unemployed for two months now, but I'm not dumb enough to turn something like this down, so ...The view from the deck of the house where we're staying:
Taken while walking along the beach near twilight.
I'll get more up at some point. It is just stupefyingly beautiful here, and then you add in the fireplace, and the fact that my friends are both fabulous cooks, and ... yeah, I'm pretty spoiled at the moment. \o/
What is not so much of the \o/ at the moment is -- oh, hell, I'll put it on cut, because it's just a bunch of phenomenally tedious blather about my writing and the crapitude thereof OH WOES.
So back in September I signed up for the dS Match challenge thingie with nothing more than an idea about a story I might want to write, and a vague sense that being in a structured community challenge might possibly get me to actually finish and post something. Which is a feat I have not been able to accomplish in three years now, and that fact has been kind of humiliating and painful for me.
What I didn't really anticipate was the humiliating and painful element of finishing and posting something that is, by my judgment, really, really -- not good. Pretty terrible, even. I don't really know how it's going to strike anyone else, since of course I was running RIGHT up against the deadline and so didn't even have time to get a quick beta (ah hah hah hah hah HA), but ... really. It's just -- every time I think even glancingly about any element of that story, I just kind of hate myself.
And I know that the sensible way to look at this is that screw quality, at least I did something, and now that the machinery is back in motion, never mind with how many creaks and backfires and broken parts flapping around, all I really need to do is just keep it moving. Yes?
Except for the part where writing this was just unpleasant, start to finish. For reasons internal to my own writing process and having nothing to do with the subject matter, the challenge, or anything else external, I should add. Writing narrative prose just isn't working for me right now, in ways I find hard to articulate. (*sigh*)
OK, going off now to take a walk along the beach and maybe get the hell over myself.