(no subject)

It rained all night, and it's still raining this morning, a steady heavy cold rain with a big wind lashing it around. Which is fine, because there's a ton of stuff I need to do indoors today. Laundry! Great foetid heaps of laundry! And vacuuming, and blah blah boringness.

I also need to finish the new short piece and get it posted. I am feeling a bit buffaloed, though, by a beta comment I got. Not by the comment itself--it's perfectly clear and well-stated--but by trying to figure out whether, or to what extent, I should adopt the change suggested. I don't in general have any problem setting aside beta recommendations that I feel sure aren't quite right for the story I'm trying to tell, but I don't have that sureness here. Partly it's that I know making the change suggested would lead me into writing the story that maybe this one really *should* be, but that story would be quite a bit longer and more complicated, and I'm just not up to it at this point (which makes me feel all Bad writer! No cookie!).

Maybe it's that I don't have my usual degree of emotional investment in this story; it was undertaken in part to see if I could just sort of toss something off, something short and flashfictiony, without all the long-term fucking *painful* emotional enmeshment that End of the Road entailed. Except that I feel like less of a writer for going at things that way, like I'm letting the side down or something. *g*

Though I don't really think I'm a lazy writer, when I look through my old stuff I can always see a zillion places where I fell short of what I *could* have done, didn't carry things through as I might have, took the easy way out, whatever. I try to frame this as "We live, we learn, we try to do better the next time." But that brings with it a certain mission to in fact *try* to do better the next time, not to get slapdash and slack and start tossing stuff out just because it's sort of done.

On the other hand (there's *always* another hand, right?) I think there's something to be said for just doing, just posting, moving against my tendency toward inertia.

So...I dunno. I think I'll probably just send this one out in its imperfect state, and tuck away the story I might have written in the back of my head. Maybe I'll come back to it later. Hell, maybe somebody *else* will be inspired to pick it up and run with it. *g* And maybe I just need to stop obsessing about all this so much.

::tapping microphone::

New story is up:

Slush. Short, gen, Vecchio. This is something I was originally going to do for the ds_flashfiction "Voyeur" week, but things kind of got away from me.

Many, many thanks to eyrea and laurashapiro for beta.

[Edited because I, like, totally messed up spelling aerye's LJ username.]

good golly

So I was looking, for the first time, at the Webalizer stats that are part of the control panel for my webhosting at mrks.org, and I scrolled down and found this (copied in its entirety):

Search Word Report
Listing query words, sorted by the number of requests.

#reqs: search term
-----: -----------
2: vids
1: fuck
1: laugh
1: loop
1: dogs
1: girl
1: highlander
1: hands
1: killa's
1: mitsubishi
1: girls
1: his
1: kennel
1: tied
1: chicago
1: ass

...which takes a permanent place on my mental roster of Wha??????

(Killa, I don't know how you ended up in there, but I will just assume that being ranked equally with "fuck," "ass" and "laugh" is a good thing. Er.)