(no subject)
Nov. 8th, 2004 05:05 pmI think I've got the hook for my dS Sekrit Santa story figured out. This pleases me. I also have a thing sketched out for the new flashfiction, which is likewise pleasing. (The having-it-sketched-out part, that is; I make no promises about the pleasingness of the story.)
And yesterday was great fun;
lapillus,
jackiekjono and I got to have dinner with
heres_luck, who was in town for a job interview. Those of you who've met her don't need telling this, but my god, h_l is one scary-smart, funny, delightful person, and I would be thrilled to death if it worked out for her to move here.
I am clinging to these Happy Thoughts and brandishing them around in my brain like they were Galadriel's fucking light-thingie, as a weapon against the pervasive bleakness that has set up camp in my psyche the past couple of weeks. This is probably in part election-related, but also feels biochemical or something. Damn. I spent some time today flipping through the list of mental health providers that my insurance covers; unfortunately, all the ones that I would consider going to (e.g., in which I have some degree of trust) are also clinics that have people on staff whom I know professionally, and that just feels ooogie to me.
It strikes me that it's been ten years now since I've been in therapy, which is the longest non-therapized interlude of my adult life, and I realize that the biggest question I have about possible re-entry into that cloistered confessional space of self-disclosure is -- to what extent do I come out about my involvement in fandom, fanfiction writing, slash? That's a large and important part of my inner life--it's where I have most of my friendships, and spend most of my free time--but I find I'm very reluctant to bring it up with anyone who's not already at least passingly conversant with this whole world. Which would, probably, include most therapists.
So my question of the day, for those of you on the friendslist who have simultaneously been involved in fandom and therapy -- how have you handled this? Full disclosure? The partial kind of "Oh, I write stuff" approach one might use with non-fan friends? Concealment? How has it affected the work you've done with your therapist?
(ETA: Feel free to log out and reply anonymously, if that feels more comfortable.)
And yesterday was great fun;
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I am clinging to these Happy Thoughts and brandishing them around in my brain like they were Galadriel's fucking light-thingie, as a weapon against the pervasive bleakness that has set up camp in my psyche the past couple of weeks. This is probably in part election-related, but also feels biochemical or something. Damn. I spent some time today flipping through the list of mental health providers that my insurance covers; unfortunately, all the ones that I would consider going to (e.g., in which I have some degree of trust) are also clinics that have people on staff whom I know professionally, and that just feels ooogie to me.
It strikes me that it's been ten years now since I've been in therapy, which is the longest non-therapized interlude of my adult life, and I realize that the biggest question I have about possible re-entry into that cloistered confessional space of self-disclosure is -- to what extent do I come out about my involvement in fandom, fanfiction writing, slash? That's a large and important part of my inner life--it's where I have most of my friendships, and spend most of my free time--but I find I'm very reluctant to bring it up with anyone who's not already at least passingly conversant with this whole world. Which would, probably, include most therapists.
So my question of the day, for those of you on the friendslist who have simultaneously been involved in fandom and therapy -- how have you handled this? Full disclosure? The partial kind of "Oh, I write stuff" approach one might use with non-fan friends? Concealment? How has it affected the work you've done with your therapist?
(ETA: Feel free to log out and reply anonymously, if that feels more comfortable.)