(no subject)

You know, there's one key thing I forgot to say in my entry last night (as usual, when I'm writing too fast)--namely, what it is that I specifically love about the whole Ray/Ray universe.

I say "universe" rather than "pairing," because those who know me know that I am not much of a one for the "pairing" concept (as I said at Escapade once, the word makes me think of matching lace doilies or something). No, the thing is, Ray/Ray to me isn't about "Hey, let's have these two guys fuck!" Rather, it's the creation a whole alternate dS universe which is, essentially, postlapsarian, after the fall. It presumes that RK and RV have each, in their own different ways, had their best shot at some sort of primary connection with Fraser (as partner, lover, best friend, whatever) -- and it fell, it fell through and fell apart, they fell short. Neither Ray could ultimately make it work.

Both Vecchio and Kowalski are, in my view of them, guys who are *deeply* fearful of not being good enough, not measuring up (ref. my long-ago entry on RK and RV as guilt- and shame-based individuals). And in this universe their nightmare came true; they had a shot at perfection, in the form of Fraser, with his unearthly beauty and superhuman abilities and unnatural politeness and decency and and inhuman brilliance--and they couldn't achieve it. They failed, and Fraser shimmered off back to the celestial north, and they're left back in the grit of Chicago.

And they discover -- it's better that way. Fraser may have been the dream, but the reality is this other guy who's a pain in the ass and a screw-up and maybe has a giant schnozz or maybe dresses like a bag lady, but it *works* in a way things never really worked with Fraser, who really when you come down to it was sort of a different species, whereas this guy is someone you *know*, someone *real*.

(This is not to deny that Fraser is a fucked-up and very human being himself, in canon and fanfic; but he's also iconic, a representation of The Ideal, and that's just as canonical as his flawed humanity.)

Anyway, to me, Ray/Ray slash is at its heart autumnal, it's about middle age -- the letting go of shiny dreams of perfection, and coming to terms with the flawed crooked broken reality of the world and other people and one's self, the relinquishment of fantasy and acceptance of reality. And *that* story is the one I love--that story, and the ability of writers to build it out an often lighthearted and wacky TV show about the pretty Mountie and the two funny cops.

[ETA: And it strikes me that this whole entry is essentially a riff on _aerye_'s You Get What You Need, which is, y'know, good by me. *g*]