(no subject)

[katallison]

Argh. Self-absorbed tedious writing blather follows, which is in fact so mortifyingly self-absorbed that I've put it on cutaway.

Ohhh, man. I'm about 90% through the Big Long Horrible Painful Final-Break-Up We're-Through Fight Scene, and god, writing this thing is like being beaten with sticks. Not just because I'm struggling to pull together fifty-seven different emotional/thematic strands from the whole story, but also because it hurts. Anybody who thinks I'm just an evil-hearted wench who gets off on putting characters through the emotional wringer should be here to see me lurch up every ten minutes and pace around the room, sniffling and going "Ouch ouch ouch!" and also "Waaahhh!" Because, man, these poor guys. They are so fucked, and not in the good way. Criminey.

And I can't even tell yet if the damn scene works--Laura S., god bless and keep her, is going to get a huge wad of this to edit later today, when the last 10% is nailed into place. All I can tell is it hurts me.

Comments

[destina.livejournal.com]

I think emotionally true writing is supposed to hurt, actually. It's like a law of some sort - if you care for your characters, you're bound to their fate. I'm sure the scene works, Kat - I have faith in you and in the beauty of your writing.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

Des, you are just such a total sweetheart, and I am such a wet mess right now -- can I just sort of snuggle up against you, and, um, pull the comforter over myself and snivel for a while? (And yes, I really am going to answer your e-mail! I am a shlub!)

I do think one can reach emotional truth via humor, or lightness -- but it just doesn't seem very possible for me, which is one of my limitations as a writer. Oy. I do wish I could write like Speranza, but then don't we all [g].

[destina.livejournal.com]

Crawl on in here and wallow all you want! I have a nice, cozy down comforter, custom-made to cure all modes of writerly despair. *g* I certainly wish I could write the clever-funny like Speranza, tho I've come to peace with what I can do with words, and what I can't. Mostly. (And don't worry 'bout that email. You're not a shlub. *g*)