(no subject)

[katallison]

My tiredness is epochal. It is legion. It is like the forces of Mordor attacking Helm's Deep, or something. In the rain.

And yet it is also oh, so boring, so I shall not discuss it further. I could witter on about my guilt over having fallen behind in posting recs for crack_van -- see, I remember now why I never did a recs page, there's such fraughtness in the whole thing, the myriad possibilities of giving offense or causing sniffliness or whatever, especially in dS.

Or I could try to get a handle on some of the thoughts I had in response to laurashapiro's recent post, about losing her squee. (Laura! You know I love you! My failure to respond to your post is just due to the epochal tiredness, and also I am a jerk!) And yet the thoughts aren't really so much about Laura's post as they are about something barkley posted not long ago, about vidding and over-vidded scenes in due South, the reading of which gave me a chill. Which is not (I hasten to add) a bad thing, and I wish my ensuing comments to cause no bad feelings for Barkley or anyone else posting in that thread.

The thing is--OK, I *get* the deal about over-vidded scenes. I have heard numerous people say that they really can't deal with seeing any more Duncan/Methos vids, because every single clip extant of Methos, or Methos and Duncan together, has been included in so very, very many vids that they've burned out their emotional charge. Those scenes have, as it were, lost their squee-factor. And I *get* that.

But I find myself thinking that maybe that's an occupational hazard of vidding. Vidders, after all, are working within a really very constrained space--there's the clips, there's the song, and beyond a certain point they're unalterable, you have to work with what you're given, and you can interpret and shade and combine these given factors to create new layers of meaning, sure, no question. But--

OK, speaking as a writer? And switching it back to dS for a moment--there are indeed overwritten, as well as over-vidded, scenes in the fandom, of course, and yet I know that there's no scene in the show so overly familiar that I couldn't take it and twist it in a hundred new directions--new POV, alternate backstories, different emotional overtones and implications and flavorings. I was reading dsudis's new story lately (and hey, Dira! I owe you much feedback! Reprise the "I am a jerk!" music!), and one thing that struck me was how she took little bits and shards from the episodes, and so casually, masterfully, with a flick of the wrist, cast them into an entirely new storyline.

I feel confident that, as a writer, I could keep confabulating dS stories until I'm too old to see the keyboard, and still not get to the end of the stuff I could come up with, or want to say. The one where everyone's born ten years earlier and Ray's prime Vietnam draft-bait and flees into Canada. The one where Fraser's the charismatic cult-leader, bent on a moral regeneration of the world, who ends up wreaking havoc. The really dark one with Vecchio and RayK and Fraser all dealing with the aftermath of Armando.

Which is to say, it's all AU, but as a writer I have that available to me. I'm loosely bounded by canon, sure, in the sense that the characters are who they are and I have to wholly mindful of that when I twist them into new situations. But still ...

And, see, what's really intriguing to me is that quite a few of the most outstanding vidders I know also have made a mark as writers and have produced some really fine stories, but feel that in vidding they've really found their metier, their voice. What I keep wanting to ask--and I'm terribly afraid here of sounding patronizing or dismissive or something, when that's not at all what I'm feeling--is, how do you come to terms with the relative limitations you work under in vidding? How do you deal with the frustration of not having that *one* scene, that *one* clip, that you really need, because the goddamned TPTB didn't see fit to film it? How do you not burn out when you're looking at the same set scenes over and over again? How do you keep your squeee?

All of which is really, I guess, just a way of saying I'm fundamentally a writer and not a vidder; as much as some vids have opened my head up with a great whoooshing sound, when trying to do vids I end up feeling thwarted and hampered. But still, I'm curious about how others experience it.

And I should just set this entry aside for re-thinking and editing in the morning, when I'm less epochally tired, but I'll probably just hit "update" and take my lumps. And stagger off to bed. Maybe tonight I'll get some sleep, which would be nice.

Comments

[killabeez.livejournal.com]

My tiredness is epochal. It is legion.

::hugs you and makes you capuccino::

And yet the thoughts aren't really so much about Laura's post as they are about something barkley posted not long ago, about vidding and over-vidded scenes in due South, the reading of which gave me a chill. Which is not (I hasten to add) a bad thing, and I wish my ensuing comments to cause no bad feelings for Barkley or anyone else posting in that thread.

The thing is--OK, I *get* the deal about over-vidded scenes. I have heard numerous people say that they really can't deal with seeing any more Duncan/Methos vids, because every single clip extant of Methos, or Methos and Duncan together, has been included in so very, very many vids that they've burned out their emotional charge. Those scenes have, as it were, lost their squee-factor. And I *get* that.

I get it, too, but on more than one level, I don't buy into it. I think the only reasons this factor should matter to a vidder is if a) they feel they might not have chosen the best clip(s) available to illustrate exactly what they want to say, and they are questioning whether they could find a clip that would communicate a particular feeling or idea more clearly, or b) they're deciding whether to show the vid at a multi-fandom vidshow.

destina said something very insightful to me the other day, and I hope she won't mind me repeating a snippet of it here. She was talking about vidders who are "vidder's vidders," in the same a writer can be a "writer's writer." The question is, is that the kind of vidder that you want to be? I think there's a place for all kinds of vidders and writers and artists in fandom, and at different times I'm turned on by different aspects of each. Sometimes the intellectual part of me really gets into a breathtakingly original, brilliantly-crafted vid with images I've never seen before and know nothing about. Sometimes, I can even find that emotionally powerful and rewarding. (Gwyn & Jo's "Darkness, Darkness" for example.)

Other times, I want to immerse myself in the characters I love and experience their familiar story with a new intensity, through a subtly different lens, and I could not care less that I've seen the images before countless times. I feel for those who don't care about those characters and really don't care if they never see those images again -- but I don't think that says anything about the vid at all beyond the choice of where and when to show it.

The other factor that comes into play is that if you worry about vidding or writing things that have already been done, already been said, you miss the chance for inspiration to strike and for an idea to come that will let you hit both audiences at the same time. The vid that comes immediately to mind is the one I showed at the aesthetics panel last year -- Michelle's "Love Is Blindness." That vid is all about Duncan and Methos. It's purely emotional, it's powerful, it's visceral -- and it is composed of images that we've seen in very few vids, with a look that is wholly fresh and unique.

Anyway. I completely recognize the value of originality and freshness, but at the same time, I think art is about more than that - a lot more. I make the vids I want to see, and only afterwards think about whether anybody else wants to see them. If I'm thinking about using a clip I know has been used a lot, I'll dedicate some extra thought to whether it's the very best choice, and whether there's some way I could use it that will make it fresh. But really, shouldn't I be thinking that about every clip anyway?

Besides, 9 times out of 10, you'll guess wrong about what people will respond to anyway. *g* Better to just let that go right now, and decide for yourself what kinds of stories you have to tell.

[wickedwords.livejournal.com]

This is lovely, hon. I'm with you here.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

I'm in the embarrassing and time-stressed situation of having to tell you, and Rache, and Laura, thank you so much for these wonderful and thought-provoking comments, which I *really* want to come back to and talk more about, except after two days of getting slammed at work I'm about to fly off out of town for several days, so it won't be until next week, but this is wonderful stuff, and I'll be thinking it over! {{hugs}}

[killabeez.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs back}}} Have a safe trip!