(no subject)

[katallison]

nifra_idril has a wonderfully smart entry about Vecchio and Fraser, how well they work as friends, and how much Fraser would need to have a friend who doesn't see him in a sexual light. And I really dig that, because -- I mean, with Kowalski, that erotic vibe is right there from the get-go, they're flirting right off the bat, and that's hot, and it's cool, but it -- hrm. It makes it easy to miss those parts of Fraser that (to my mind) want and need the kind of distance that's possible within friendship. Vecchio allows him some boundaries--*reinforces* those boundaries, even, in some ways--while Kowalski is in no sense a boundary respecter. His galvanic, white-hot, lava-spewing quality is part of what draws a lot of us to Kowalski, sure -- but it would be scary in some ways too, to have in a relationship. And it makes it easy for us as writers to go straight to the smokin' hot sex, while eliding the difficulties of maintaining boundaries within an intimate relationship, which I think is something that would matter to Fraser.

I find myself thinking that *friendship* is harder to write than passionate erotic connection, maybe, just as happy marriage is harder to write than angsty breakup. I mean, sure, slash is all about finding the erotic possibilities within male friendships, male emotional connections, and actualizing them in physical sexual connections. And there is for sure an erotic vibe of sorts between Fraser and Vecchio -- that *ping* of attraction between matter and antimatter, the familiar self and the strange, alien *other.* But the real beauty of Fraser/Vecchio (to me, I mean, in my own conceptualization) is that it *doesn't* get actualized in any overt way, that it shimmers and glimmers and then is backed away from, as the two of them see their differences and take their different paths. The friendship is always there, and it's stronger, in a way, because they won't ever entirely meet each other's needs. There's always that gulf, that respect for the integrity their differences, the sort of formality of their standard jibes and snarks and the roles that they play with each other. They had to *create* their connection, it wasn't just a matter of hormones and passion, and the ease that it acquires with time is a product of ... um, effort, or accommodation, or learning, it's not click-spark-*boom*. And I dig that, but ... garrgh. I need to somehow get this in a story, I'm not making much sense trying to explain it.

And in other matters, I'm sad today because due to RL vexations I've had to cancel out on a planned fannish get-together this weekend. *le sigh* I shall, perhaps, get some writing done instead, and take care of RL business, and be wistful, and hope that my buddies are having a fabulous time, even though I can't be there.

Comments

[nifra-idril.livejournal.com]

*nodsnodsnods and nods again, vigorously*

And there is for sure an erotic vibe of sorts between Fraser and Vecchio -- that *ping* of attraction between matter and antimatter, the familiar self and the strange, alien *other.*

There certainly is a kind of eros between Fraser and Vecchio -- but it seems to me that part of that is all about intimacy, the true intimacy of knowing someone inside and out. They are not brothers, their friendship is not the friendship of two brothers, and I think there's definitely an awareness of one another on a sexual level.

But it isn't overwhelming, it isn't something that pulls them to one another like magnets. They are aware of one another, and they know one another -- I mean, really truly *know* and *trust* one another, and that's where their shimmering connection lies. The ease they have with one another isn't about sex, but it is sexy. There's always something sexy about letting yourself be touched by someone who knows you -- physically or otherwise, and so yes, I'd say there's a slashy element to the two of them.

The thing is -- they don't want more than just that touch. They don't need anything more than just that touch, that trust, that ease. And that's what makes me so incredibly happy about them. They have what they need, and it's a beautiful, simple, delicate and utterly complex thing. That it isn't ever actualized, despite the awareness that I really truly feel is there, is what just *makes* their friendship as rock solid as it is.

Because they can be honest with one another, even in that.

That's something that I don't know if Fraser and Kowalski have, and why I feel like their friendship is somehow shakier than the Vecchio/Fraser one. I'm not questioning the love here (*defends her due South OTP unto death or at least mild discomfort*) -- or, rather the need. I don't think, though, that they could survive awareness and denial and awareness of denial and retain ease.

You know, if they ever had ease. *grins*