(no subject)

[katallison]

nifra_idril has a wonderfully smart entry about Vecchio and Fraser, how well they work as friends, and how much Fraser would need to have a friend who doesn't see him in a sexual light. And I really dig that, because -- I mean, with Kowalski, that erotic vibe is right there from the get-go, they're flirting right off the bat, and that's hot, and it's cool, but it -- hrm. It makes it easy to miss those parts of Fraser that (to my mind) want and need the kind of distance that's possible within friendship. Vecchio allows him some boundaries--*reinforces* those boundaries, even, in some ways--while Kowalski is in no sense a boundary respecter. His galvanic, white-hot, lava-spewing quality is part of what draws a lot of us to Kowalski, sure -- but it would be scary in some ways too, to have in a relationship. And it makes it easy for us as writers to go straight to the smokin' hot sex, while eliding the difficulties of maintaining boundaries within an intimate relationship, which I think is something that would matter to Fraser.

I find myself thinking that *friendship* is harder to write than passionate erotic connection, maybe, just as happy marriage is harder to write than angsty breakup. I mean, sure, slash is all about finding the erotic possibilities within male friendships, male emotional connections, and actualizing them in physical sexual connections. And there is for sure an erotic vibe of sorts between Fraser and Vecchio -- that *ping* of attraction between matter and antimatter, the familiar self and the strange, alien *other.* But the real beauty of Fraser/Vecchio (to me, I mean, in my own conceptualization) is that it *doesn't* get actualized in any overt way, that it shimmers and glimmers and then is backed away from, as the two of them see their differences and take their different paths. The friendship is always there, and it's stronger, in a way, because they won't ever entirely meet each other's needs. There's always that gulf, that respect for the integrity their differences, the sort of formality of their standard jibes and snarks and the roles that they play with each other. They had to *create* their connection, it wasn't just a matter of hormones and passion, and the ease that it acquires with time is a product of ... um, effort, or accommodation, or learning, it's not click-spark-*boom*. And I dig that, but ... garrgh. I need to somehow get this in a story, I'm not making much sense trying to explain it.

And in other matters, I'm sad today because due to RL vexations I've had to cancel out on a planned fannish get-together this weekend. *le sigh* I shall, perhaps, get some writing done instead, and take care of RL business, and be wistful, and hope that my buddies are having a fabulous time, even though I can't be there.

Comments

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

It's probably not quite your vision, but at least it's vaguely like.

http://www.kalena.mrks.org/WhatYouAskFor3.html