(no subject)

[katallison]

Things I have done in past Decembers while under the influence of the Christmassy Spirit, and which I will almost certainly not be doing this year:

--participated in the Sing-Along Messiah;
--baked and decorated many dozen cookies;
--made *fruitcakes*;
--strung lights up all over the outside of the house;
--used black electrician tape to make "panes" on the big front window, and then sprayed the white foam snow-looking stuff into the corner of each pane;
--made Spiced Beef, which requires ten days of prep time;
--made hand-decorated, calligraphied cards, and mailed them out to people *on time*;
--gone to The Mall and bought presents for the entire family;
--sat up all Solstice night, sundown to sunrise, around a bonfire in the woods outside Mendocino with a bunch of people, drumming and singing and drinking wine mulled over the fire;
--sung carols door to door with a gang of friends;
--sat naked in a sauna with a bunch of people, and then gone out and rolled in the snow, with Bach playing over the outdoor speakers;
--roasted chestnuts;
--made and bottled glogg;
--allowed a beloved friend to cook lutefisk *in my house* (ack! ptooooieee!).

Things I will yet do this December:
--buy, put up, and decorate a balsam;
--finish my goddamned hideous ds_seekritsanta story;
--finish buying presents for Mr. P.;
--stress mightily about not having bought enough/the right presents for Mr. P.;
--make a nice Christmas night dinner for the two of us;
--sit up alone on Christmas Eve, listening to Perotin and Anonymous 4, getting tipsy and maudlin and thinking about Time Passing, and the death of the year, and those I loved who are no longer among us.

When I was a child, Christmas was a delirious saturnalia of presents, stuff, wheeee!!!. When I was a young woman, I was diligent about establishing and maintaining the rituals that marked some kind of specialness in this commercialized harried overloaded turning-point of the year; I even used at times to imagine I was creating traditions that I'd have and observe for the rest of my life.

But now that I'm getting old ... well, the days dwindle down to a precious few, and so do the observances that I take the trouble to continue. With time, it's much more about the inward-and-spiritual stuff, rather than the outward-and-visible. I still cherish this darkest time of year, the bleak midwinter (though, granted, the coldest and bleakest days are yet to come). Though I've never been a Christian, it remains a special time, for reasons both cultural and cosmological. And I love to hear about how all my younger and springier friends out there choose to celebrate in their own ways--traditional, quirky, joyous, hassled, solitary, in the bosom of family, religious, pagan, or whatever.

Comments

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Thank you for helping me to hate this time of year a little bit less.

It's so strange, after 15 years of violent antipathy, to find myself with a (Jewish! Atheist!) partner who *needs* to open presents on December 25th, and to play with toys and have a special dinner and feel a part of the whatever-the-hell-it-is that he didn't get as a youngster.

I grin and bear it, for his sake, but after two years it still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

You know, I was pondering a reply to this, when it struck me that--

Christmas Is Fanon.

It's simply one (widely embraced, in the Western world) fan-story elaborating on a deeper canonical reality of the Dark Time, the Return of Light, Rebirth, the Green Man (evergreen, holly/ivy, whatever). It's just fanonical elaboration thereof, along with the Virgin Birth (mpreg, anoyone?), and the Wisemen/yentas, and yadda.

Also? Presents are cool.

I hope this December can be a joyous and restorative time for you and your own Mr. P., and that you find together a way to write your own fanon of these enduring themes. *g*

[tsamm.livejournal.com]

Christmas Is Fanon.

But does Christmas smoke? I kid, I kid. Just -- thank you for that even though it wasn't for me; I find you endlessly smart and insightful.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

You are so bent. (: I like turning my head sideways so that I can think like you do.

Thank you for your kind wishes. They are treasured.

[umbo.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you do have some things that you're continuing, and that you've got Mr. P to pal around with. I'm trying to figure out if/how I'm going to do a tree this year, what with the OMGWTF Moving 2000 miles! thing going on, so I can kinda relate.

*smootch*

[katallison.livejournal.com]

I am so very, very happy that things are working out for you on the job front! I totally get the OMGWTF Moving 2000 miles! stress--but the place where you're headed sounds very, very right for you, and that gives me great joy.

(And hey, the tree can be just a little evergreen branch, or a houseplant, even--next year you'll be spending the season in the deep cold, and the fallen snow, in your own new-but-settled-in home, and making a life and traditions of your own, with all your old friends who love you still here beside you, giving you much love, and new friends to bring you happiness. *hugs*)

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

Well, now you've got me thinking... always a dangerous thing. Feel free to move along, it's mostly ramble. ;)

My mom was the biggest Christmas fan ever. She adored every single thing about the holiday, and often decked herself out from Santa hat to red and green slippers, with stuff that blinked and jingled in between. We used to pat her indulgently, thinking she was just a little loopy about it all, but my kid would have LOVED seeing her grandma in all that regalia, and I'm sad that she can only hear my stories about it.

In our family, we always had a "tree-trimming party". It started in Wisconsin, where my grad student parents and their friends gathered to trim a tabletop tree. It evolved over the decades until the last one featured a crowd of about seventy people, ages 2 weeks to 93. We always had cranberry-juice-and-ginger-ale punch, a spiral-cut ham, green bean casserole and strawberry jello mold with mandarin oranges. My brother would lead a short worship service in the living room, and my god-sister and I would sing lesser-known carols. And the tree...8' tall, weighted down with forty years of ornament gifts until you could hardly see green, just the color and shimmer and texture of the ornaments.

We always had another party in early January -- an "UN-trimming Party" with fewer friends and more desserts.

We have a tree this year, for the first time in five years. We trimmed it all by our lonesomes. We did host a holiday party -- a cookie swap -- and I made photo ornaments for the kids who came to take home with them.

And we served cranberry-juice-and-ginger-ale punch.

Somewhere, I hear a bell-laden sweater jingling. :)

[katallison.livejournal.com]

*happy glow* This is lovely, Bone, and it makes me remember my own mother (long gone) who was the one who really made Christmas *happen* in my family. And knowing you, I feel certain that you're passing on your mom's warmth and love to the Apple, and to everyone else who's lucky enough to know you.

I'm so very happy that I'll get to see you again at Escapade this year! (That's still happening, right? I hope?) It's been way too long since we've seen each other, but even from this distance, you're still one of the people who brings me joy, and makes me (old grouch) think that humanity is worth all the aggravation. *g*

Waaah!

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Bone's going to Escapade? And I'm not!

::sulk::

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

I'm so very happy that I'll get to see you again at Escapade this year! (That's still happening, right? I hope?)

::fingers crossed::

Con registration? Check. Plane tix? Check. Room reservation? Check. Roadtrip plans from Phonix to Ventura with a_mews and joanneg? In the works.

So far, the planet alignment looks good.

[akite.livejournal.com]

I'm not younger or springier, but I'll answer anyway. :g: We, meaning my husband and myself, no children, have a Christmas tree. He put it up and decorated it while I was at work on December 1st. Which suited me just fine, thank you kindly. We have a couple of more decorations inside the house, stockings and such. My family tradition was that everything happend Christmas Day, the opening of presents, the big meal. His is different. They open family gifts on Christmas Eve and Santa gifts the morning after. Their big meal is also Christmas Eve. When we celebrate with his family, as we plan to this year, I follow his traditions. When we celebrate with my family, we follow my family's traditions. Compromise is what making a life together is all about, I suppose.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

*nod nod* The rub, the accommodation, the give and take, the who put the butter dish in the refrigerator, and the what does it really matter -- family celebrations are about yielding all the discontents and rough edges, and finding harmony in the discords. Thanks for sharing your own celebrations, and I hope that you and the Mr. Akite have a wonderful time this year!

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

Well, if I can weigh in on the side of no-longer-younger and not-springier...I love the Christmas Season. Not that I'm much of a Christian (if at all) but I love the symbolism, the turning of the year, the continuation of ancient traditions of Saturnalia, the Winter Solistic. I love the fact that people give - not just to friends and family - but to strangers in need. I love the fact that admidst the frenzy of shopping and spending, a significant number of people stop to think about what this is supposed to be about and renew their committement to the real values of religion - as Jimmy Carter says - to the Prince of Peace who was born in a stable and walked among the poorest. I love the church that I go to which has Gay, Straight and Lesbian Ministers and a congregation to match. I always use this time to draw up my horoscope for the coming year (it's called a Solar Return for those of you that know astrology) and meditate on what the next 12 months will bring. I love making calligraphy cards for friends and cooking my special breads.
And I am astonished that on January 1st, I will turn 60. 2004 has been an amazing year for me - retiring, going back to school, trying out new things. I can't think of anything better to do during this season that what I've been doing for the past 5 1/2 months.
Living!

namaste SF Nancy

[katallison.livejournal.com]

This is absolutely lovely, Nancy, and I hope the coming year just continues to bring you fresh adventures and deepening joy!

[debg.livejournal.com]

I do, and will do this solstice, what Iv'e always done: feed people.

Used to be I could volunteer to help cook a thousand meals for the homeless at Glide, or St. Anthony's. They won't take me anymore; the multiple sclerosis makes me uninsurable for this kind of fast-paced, using knives work.

But I'll feed our homeless friend John, and feed our feral cats, and I'll make up gift bags of food and knit gloves ($1.49 for two pairs, stretchy and black, at Target) and spare coins, and distribute them downtown, among the homeless.

Also? I'll bake and send goodies. Speaking of which, love, would you like some? If so, e me with a place to mail.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of a story I started writing a number of years ago, in which a burned-out disillusioned ex-activist ends up working as a cook in a cafe, because feeding people seemed to her the only unambiguously good and beneficent thing she could still do. Bless you for all the good you continue to do, as well as for your refusal to become burned-out and disillusioned.

(And goodies? Really? ::happy sounds:: I'll send you an address, and thank you *very* much!)

[debg.livejournal.com]

I just - hell, it's hardwired. I grew up in a completely non-Christian setting that seems to have valued some of the core Christian principles, without all the Jesus stuff attached. Sharing food is the primary thing and it fills a nice selfish need, as well, because I really love cooking.

Send me an addy. How does wicked soft dense Scots ginger cake sound?

[miss-pryss.livejournal.com]

Glöggi! That may be the one holiday tradition I uphold this year, and it's not even *my* tradition. I learned to make glöggi when I was studying Finnish in college, and I've tried to make it every year since.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

*g* I stopped making it when I realized that nobody I know nowadays likes it--it's less fun to make just for oneself. But someday again, maybe.

[flambeau.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm one of those people who love Christmas. I'm a third-generation atheist, so for me, it's always been a cultural thing and a family thing (and a cultural studies thing, for that matter). I like to buy presents for people I love, so that part is a lot of fun for me. I don't like to send Christmas cards, so I never do. I love my family and (nearly) all my wacky relatives, and I enjoy hanging out with them. I like the cold and the dark and the candles. I think what I like best of all is the anticipation of having my loved ones open their presents; it's an extremely selfish anticipation, because I'm thinking about how I want them to see that I know them and love them, and try to express that, at this particular time of year, with the gifts I choose for them.

For me, it's a time of mellow, pleasant traditions. Christmas has never been a particularly stressful time for us, meaning the small core family group of self, parents, and aunt. We make some food, we trim a tree, we exchange gifts, we get competitive about Trivial Pursuit, we visit friends and relatives and admire their tree and see what their pickled herring tastes like... It's nice, and there's no huge sense of expectation. Though I am reminded that I need to figure out what to get the teensy godchildren. Very small children are harder to shop for, I admit, before they develop more individual tastes and hobbies. :)

PS: lutefisk is revolting, yes.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

See, this entry is further evidence of your lovely and generous nature. I wish I could be less perfectionistic about gift-giving; it always seems to turn into some kind of high-pressure final exam in How Well Do You Know This Person *Really,* and I always feel like I haven't studied sufficiently.

Your Christmas rituals sound wonderful and -- you know, what Christmases *should* be like. Hope this year's celebrations are even more wonderful than usual! *hug*

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

stress mightily about not having bought enough/the right presents for Mr. P

I so identify with this.

I'm trying to skip it this year, though. I figure the important thing is that I"m thinking of him (yaoobruni, in my case, not Mr. P *g*) and the gifts themselves are secondary. Right?

[katallison.livejournal.com]

I try to convince myself of this, but . . . *sigh*

Anyway, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. (*g*)

[brynwulf]

Well, this is so totally un-Christmas related, I hate to leave it here, but just wanted to let you know Wolfie got the (just) two month contract at the Mayo, so I won't be joining him *sulk*. I may get to fly up on a weekend. The company who found him the job feels it may become longer term or even permanent, so they are also looking for me a job. Who knows. I gave up second-guessing the universe.

Also...where are you guys getting those cutey little santa hats for your icons? Just whipping them up out of thin air?

[katallison.livejournal.com]

Argh. Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed hard about the prospets of turning into a permanent thing.

(And re: the santa hats, I just did a Google Image search for "santa hat," downloaded several, and then messed around in Paintshop removing them from their original context and pasting them into a new one. It would help if I had any skill whatsoever in Paintshop, but it's fun in any event. *g*)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_swallow/]

I love you so much.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

Aww! I am unworthy, but believe me, the feeling's mutual.

More Christmas ritual

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

Thoroughly clean the house from top to bottom using cleaners with lavender oil and rosemary.
Clean out all the closets, under the bed. Thoroughly declutter and give any old clothes, etc. to charity of choice.
Light sandlewood and sage incense in all rooms for psychic cleansing.
Light pink candles in all rooms.
Thank the Universe/God/Goddess for disintegrating all negative energy, stress, financial and relationship difficulties from each room in the apartment.
Make gingerbread.

namaste SF Nancy

Re: More Christmas ritual

[katallison.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, god, this sounds so *wonderful*! Lacking the oomph to do the thorough-cleaning-and-decluttering myself, I am contemplating just hiring someone to come in and do it. And then I could go around with the lavender and rosemary and incense. *g*

Thanks so much for this, Nancy--just thinking about it makes me feel better.

[panisdead.livejournal.com]

Was it last year you posted the recipe for the spiced beef? I was thinking of maybe trying it out, and it sounds like I could get it together in time for New Year's...