HST's suicide leaves me feeling gut-punched. Oddly, not really *surprised*--I never saw him expiring peacefully in bed, or anything. But shocked, and kind of old and emptied out, and deeply sad.
I know. It's like the rebels are slipping away from me, like I'm losing touch with something wild and free and brave. Like the world has become too toxic for my heroes, and something important, damn it is slipping through our fingers and we need to wake up, we need to do something about it.
Is it wrong of me to keep hoping that it was a crazy-ass accident?--I mean, god knows HST used to fire his fucking guns in the house, so yeah, I'm not surprised that he'd off himself (talk about wildly dangerous ways--hell, firing guns or riding motorcyles or OD or whatever)--but what's upsetting me is the idea that me might have done it deliberately. Even so, there's now rumors that he might have done it for health related reasons-he was, apparently, occasionally using a wheelchair--and that makes me feel better, too. What scared the fuck out of me is that he might have actually have taken a cold, hard look around at our decent into facism and said, "Fuck it," as the only rational/ethical decision. That's what's keeping me up at nights. And also, if we are actually descending into fascism, I don't want to go alone, how am I going to go there without HST and people like him by my side? Plus, how will I live without his sentences? HST is a guy I would have fucked for the sexiness of his syntax alone.
You know, my first thought when I heard the news (after the "ohmygod NO!") was "Shit. I was afraid of this." HST was (oddly) on my short mental list of people I was worried about in the wake of the election, which felt like the final crushing refutation of that odd romantic faith he'd somehow managed to sustain (amidst all his rage) about the essential nature of America. (I can't stand to go back and reread his piece written just before the election, in which he predicted a Kerry victory...)
I mean, I don't know. On reflection, I think that may have been a factor, but it was much likelier to have been about his realization that his body simply would no longer allow him to live the way he wanted. Even if he didn't have a terminal diagnosis of some sort, still I don't think the slow descent into infirmity and dependency is something he would've wanted to stick around for.
And the sentences. Yeah. I have to go re-buy all his books, dammit, because I lent them to various friends over the years and never got them back, and I want to reread them now.
See, if it's the latter, a decision not to live with infirmity, I can live with that. If it's him being crushed in the wake of the election by the final, real death knell of the 70s? I don't think I CAN live with that!! I want to know! Surely he can't have not left a NOTE??
Due to the transatlantic gap, I didn't realize any of HST's relevance until one of our weekly news magazines featured an obituary. (translate: just another proof of what a poor excuse for a cultural scientist I am *g*)
I would love to read some of his work, but have absolutely no idea where to start. Is there anything you would recommend?
I'd say Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which is pretty much quintuple-distilled essence of HST. (Do *not* watch the movie first--in fact, I'd say [unless you are a fanatic Johnny Depp completist] do not watch the movie ever, because it's pretty terrible.) Alternatively, The Great Shark Hunt is a collection of shorter pieces, and while it doesn't have the sustained, cumulative brutal frenzy of F&LinLV, it does have his short piece on the Kentucky Derby, which is a classic.
My favorite work of Thompson's is actually Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail, but it's going to be much less accessible for someone who doesn't have a good working knowledge of the American political scene circa 1972. *g*
I disagree about the film, offhand; it's got its problems, but I think it gets a lot of the rhythm of the language and I like the way it ultimately takes responsibility for its own excesses.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-21 02:16 pm (UTC)All of that.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-21 03:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-21 04:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-21 08:15 pm (UTC)Just damn and ouch.
Rambling grief
Date: 2005-02-22 04:00 am (UTC)Sigh.
Re: Rambling grief
Date: 2005-02-22 12:34 pm (UTC)I mean, I don't know. On reflection, I think that may have been a factor, but it was much likelier to have been about his realization that his body simply would no longer allow him to live the way he wanted. Even if he didn't have a terminal diagnosis of some sort, still I don't think the slow descent into infirmity and dependency is something he would've wanted to stick around for.
And the sentences. Yeah. I have to go re-buy all his books, dammit, because I lent them to various friends over the years and never got them back, and I want to reread them now.
Re: Rambling grief
Date: 2005-02-22 11:41 pm (UTC)Hunter S. Thompson
Date: 2005-02-22 08:49 am (UTC)I would love to read some of his work, but have absolutely no idea where to start. Is there anything you would recommend?
Re: Hunter S. Thompson
Date: 2005-02-22 12:21 pm (UTC)My favorite work of Thompson's is actually Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail, but it's going to be much less accessible for someone who doesn't have a good working knowledge of the American political scene circa 1972. *g*
Re: Hunter S. Thompson
Date: 2005-02-22 11:43 pm (UTC)